Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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