it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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