yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
