before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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