when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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