I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
smell my finger.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
