I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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