There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
