Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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