dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
