I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
