Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The air was thick with penises
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
