THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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