Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
