I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
