Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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