new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
