Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
