is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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