you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
