so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish i was in the wii world.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
