yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
