hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've blown a few things in my day
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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