Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
