Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
