Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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