I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This is classic penis vs brain.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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