so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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