the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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