my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
