it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
