There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
