tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
