ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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