he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You smell like stripper and shame
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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