have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
