So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
