At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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