Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
