I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
