today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
