You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
