DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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