Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
