I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
