Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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