Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
