dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it's great music for shaving your balls
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
