Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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