PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
