she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
