Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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