You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
