Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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