is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
