Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize