So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
