I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
